These are the two paintings I delivered to the juried show a couple of days ago (see NEWS for show details) and I'm glad that that's over with. I find showing quite stressful even if by now I really should be used to it! It probably has something to do with stage fright - you are displaying a very personal part of yourself and thereby leaving yourself wide open to anyone's critique and judgement - you can never be sure what kind of response you will get, only that it will be quite arbitrary! A thick skin is essential and understanding that for every one who loves your work, there will be one who hates it or at least is totally uninterested in it. And even if I can't really complain personally, I guess, I think that the fear of being laughed out the door never quite goes away!!! I just hope that they have been hung well, so that they will be seen to their best advantage - in a show like this you have no control whatsoever. Anyway, I will know in a few days - and I will feel better when I get them home again in about four weeks!
The best remedy for me when I feel a little unsettled for whatever reason is to take the dogs with me and go for a walk at one of my favorite places - where I can find a sense of peace as well as inspiration for most of my work: the dyke trails along the Fraser River Delta and the Roberts Bank Estuary. We were there last Sunday and it was incredibly lovely: not sunny, but with the special light you can find there under a light cloud cover, wild flowers in abundance, songbirds twittering, a pair of Blue Herons flying and squawking overhead, geese honking in the distance and a tiny toy ferry out towards the horizon. And did I mention that I found some of the season's first ripe and sweet wild blackberries? And hardly anyone else was there - I think that we only met about three people (+ dogs) - it was so peaceful and so special; it makes it very difficult to fully comprehend and believe, that this is the same world where so much violence and so many other horrors are happening right now.
And then, of course, to-morrow I can finally get back in the studio and continue on the little canvasses I had to put on hold to do practical chores - I find that after about a week out of the studio I start getting really antsy and kind of depressed - which is a sign that I better get back in there again! So now I'm at that point ------------- but did I get all the chores done? Not quite, but the rest can wait a week or two - it won't be a disaster - and then I can get back to the rest and whatever new ones have crept up as they are sure to do!