"Tomorrow I'll feel better - tomorrow I'll feel better!" This mantra is taken from an add on TV, recommending counseling I think, and pretty much describes my feelings at the moment - not that I need counselling though, just an indication that I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to anything much at the moment. I always seem to have an emotional slump in January/February after the festive holiday season and especially with the changing over to a new year - and this year is no exception though is seems somehow worse; one can't help looking back at the year that was as well as forwards to the one to come, and wondering and worrying what it might bring.
And at the moment I wish that I could be full of optimism and expectations of exciting events in the future but, unfortunately, instead of being hopeful I have this feeling of foreboding, and I'm wondering what's in store for all of us with the recent political developments internationally - especially the election of Donald Trump as the next president of the United States makes me shudder! But also the situation in the Middle East and the refugee crisis in Europe are frightening as is the effect it all has on peace and stability of the western world, the European Union in particular. I have this sinking feeling that all my values and ideals are being squashed and stepped upon by forces beyond mine or anyone else's control, and that suspicion and hateful division will continue to separate and pit peoples and groups against each other. Let's just hope that things will work out not too bad in the end!
However, as usual when I'm unsettled in some way I seek refuge in the studio, but even that has been an uphill battle this time though my first painting of 2017 is close to completion. The photo above is just one of many examples of trying to explore different options: I find that collaging with coloured pieces of paper is helpful and a way of getting an idea of what certain changes, especially regarding value choices, may do to the overall painting, before I actually commit myself - and I have saved myself both time and paint many times this way. But it can only be a guideline and a way to produce ideas - a "thinking aloud" if you will - and is never to be followed literally. Some paintings need it more than others that just seem to flow naturally - and this one has been slow going; but here it is at it's current stage:
It is still a work in progress with any number of small additions and adjustments, and hopefully these will come little by little in the next week or two - in a way this is the fun part when I know, that the overall composition and colour harmonies work so I don't need to worry about that, but can go on to the embroidery stage, especially with adding some lights.
And hopefully things will lighten up in the new year as well! The days are getting longer - we have by now something like five more minutes of light pr. day - and in a few weeks it will actually be noticeable, so things are looking up!